I Hate Air Conditioning, but My Partner Loves It 

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Dear Reverend,

My partner and I have lived together for four years, and we rarely argue about anything — except for the temperature in our house in the summer. I hate air-conditioning, but she loves it. Two years ago, I acquiesced and agreed to get an AC unit. She cranks it up as soon as the temperature goes above 70 degrees outside, and I find myself having to put on a sweater. I don't want to argue about it, but I also don't want to have to bundle up just to be comfortable in my home. How do we find a happy medium?

Connie Ayer (woman, 41)

Dear Connie Ayer,

I'm with you. Vermont is cold enough most of the year — I hate freezing my bippy off when I'm inside in the summer.

My house is well insulated, so when it gets hot out, I close all the windows, turn on the ceiling fans and feel as cool as a cucumber. However, one of my best friends — who happens to be from the South, where it gets a heck of a lot hotter than it does here — won't stay with me when she visits in the summer because I don't have air-conditioning. Everybody has different comfort zones when it comes to indoor temperature.

People can often be influenced by a number they see on a thermostat. You and your partner should try an experiment: You set the AC, and your partner doesn't look at the temperature or touch the settings. Do this when you're both home for the day and have time to really give it a test.

The U.S. Department of Energy recommends setting air conditioners to 78 degrees for optimal energy-savings-to-comfort ratio, so start there. You should both wear clothing that feels neither bundled up nor stripped down. After a while, if she feels too warm, bump the setting down a degree or two. If it gets to a point where you feel too cold, bump it back up one or two.

With a little trial and error, you should be able to find a sweet spot that allows both of you to chill out.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend