Published May 24, 2023 at 10:00 a.m.
Dear Reverend,
I recently started casually dating a guy who is smart, clever and generally great fun to spend time with — until we kissed. Disgusting. I had to quickly excuse myself to grab a paper towel to clean up the drool. I've never in my life experienced anything like that. It might be a medical condition? I'm not invested enough at this point to develop a relationship, but should I tell him why I no longer want to see him? Awkward!
Sally Vate (woman, 52)
Dear Sally Vate,
If you've only been on a few dates with this guy, there's no need to go into the juicy details about why you don't want to see him anymore. Spare yourself — and him — the awkwardness and bow out gracefully without much explanation. But if he checks a lot of other boxes, are you sure you want to put the kibosh on him for one sloppy smooch?
I'd be more apt to give you the thumbs-up to move right along if you were in your twenties. However, as we get to be of a "certain age" — and I only say this because I'm right there with you — the dating pool isn't as big as it used to be. If you're up for it, I vote for giving this fella another chance.
If he had a medical condition, you probably would have noticed some non-kissing-related saliva situations. This guy just might not be a great kisser, or perhaps he got a little overenthusiastic. Open-mouth kisses with a lot of tongue action can get messy. If you give it another shot, lead by example. Slow things down and focus on the lips. He should take the hint, but when you're in the moment, you can straight up tell him how you like to be kissed.
Kissing is a very intimate act, and it takes time to get in the groove with a new partner. The path to the perfect pucker may get a little damp at times, but you can have fun experimenting along the way.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
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